03.15.09
Thoughts
Last Sunday I was slightly depressed because of my week ahead. I went to bed at about 8pm that night because I was tired just thinking about it. This week, i’m the opposite. I have St. Patricks day off, and I won’t owe them the hours back. I’m also only working 3 days on the ward, and it’s my last 3 days. I think last week (and many placements before that) gave me a bit of an insight into what it’s like working in a job you hate. It affects me way too much. I lose interest in everything outside sleeping/internet and eating. I go to bed ridiculously early because i’m exhausted all the time and I become even more disorganised. It truly is depressing.
When people ask me what i’m going to do when I finish midwifery I always tell them i’m hoping to do medicine. 99% of the time it’s followed by ‘why would you want to do that??’, ‘Medicine is really difficult’ or some other highly negative comment. I’ve learnt to just smile and not give in to their negativity. Which i’m only really learning to do now. I have a few friends who are encouraging me to actually do what I want. I think this placement is allowing me to see the benefits of actually liking your job. I don’t see why i’m mad to do a few more years in college and actually end up in a career I like. I’m even willing to repeat my leaving cert if that’s what it takes.
I’m starting this week off on a positive note. It’s very hard to do that when you feel like you’re wasting college years finishing a degree you won’t use to a large extent. Yes, it’s relavent in the long run. But the more beds I make and jugs of water I get the more irritated I get at it. But with a year to go i’m not going to quit now. Being a midwife might well be what I need to get me through 5 more years of college. The thought of thursday is what’s going to get me through the week. The end of the first half of placement, and the start of two weeks holidays. Can’t wait 
Kevin said,
March 15, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Atta girl.